The 20 year old child in me pleads “Protect me, please. Make me feel safe. I just want to be worthy of empathy, kindness and protection.”
The 11 year old adult in me explains “We can only depend on ourselves for protection & safety. Others are not to be trusted. The way to survive in this world is to be self-reliant.”
Fuck drugs and anyone who glamorizes them it’s not fun to see someone die because of them. it’s not fun to see how their skin is purple and blue because they’re not breathing, It will haunt you for the rest of your life. it’s not fun to watch someone try as hard as they can to keep them alive by performing CPR until the ambulance arrives. The person who overdosed looks like a ragdoll, limp and lifeless. Its not fun to console the people who found them or tried to help them before the ambulance arrived, those people will never be the same again, they’ve seen death.its not fun to watch the emt unit shoot them with adrenaline to jump start their heart 3 times and narcan when the adrenaline doesn’t work. It’s not fun to explain to their child(ren) why it happened when you don’t even know yourself. it’s not fun to explain to them that they will never see their parent again because they loved drugs more than they loved themself, they lose their childhood the moment it happens.It hurts everyone that loved them. It changes most of them forever because they never saw it coming. It’s not fun to bury someone who’s only 28 and had so much more of their life to live but got put in the ground instead because of drugs. It will take you by surprise. You NEVER expect it to be you or someone you love.it happens when you least expect it to. It’s not fun to wonder what you could have done to help them before they overdosed and if you could’ve done anything to save their life or if you would have done something different maybe they would have survived, maybe if you found them sooner than you did maybe they would have made it. There are so many maybes it drives you crazy.These are the questions that the people who were there to witness the overdose will always ask themselves. they will blame themself even if they did everything right they won’t think it was good enough because God damn it if they did everything right they would be alive right?That is what an addiction will do to everyone you love and if you think it won’t you’re wrong, drugs don’t discriminate against the people they kill. it WILL happen someday it just hasn’t happened to you yet. So the next time you think about doing drugs or glamorize them on social media think about this. And if you know someone who has an addiction show them this and try to help them before it’s too late. And if you’ve been looking for a sign to quit this is it.
What the fuck do I do it seems like everyone dies around me will it ever stop 4 fucking people this year will it ever stop I don’t know how many more people I can lose before I break
